If you have a child who is doing something you don't like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and sure enough he'll repeat it for you. Too much yelling and too much anger on the part of a parent are destructive for several reasons. First, they move the focus off of the child's misbehavior and on to the parent's own outburst. Second, many children take the emotional eruption of a parent as a challenge to a fight, and there are plenty of kids who love a good fight. Third, parents who over explain and give three, four or five reasons to a child to encourage right behavior are almost saying "You really don't have to behave unless I can give a number of good arguments as to why you should." This is not discipline, it is begging, and the shrewd-enough child will simply take issue with the parent's reasons.

Changing children's behavior often begins by changing parents' expectations of their children. Trying to teach young children appropriate behavior is actually closer to training than it is to teaching "little adults." This means choosing a method and repeating it consistently until the "trainee" does what the trainer wants. Very little of the training involves extensive verbal explanations. Most important, the trainer remains calm, patient and gentle, but also persistent and firm. Keep in mind, children need consistency and repetition in a warm and loving environment.

If remaining calm, patient and gentle is most often a struggle for you, perhaps your life needs a little work. It ís very hard to be a good parent if you don't take good care of yourself first!